Do you ever have those days where you kind of sit down, maybe to pause, or rest a while – those times where you find yourself suddenly gifted with peace, and calm, and essentially the perfect place to sit and create or dream or plan or whatever it is –
And you can’t quite find anything to say!? In fact there’s almost no message at all, and when you start to create or speak or write everything seems so slow, and clunky almost!
Like now, I sat down to write to you this morning and I’m stumbling over my words like waves, they’re there waiting for me to float with them but instead I just keep on tumbling over them and can’t seem to grasp them and then everything I seem to do, all of a sudden is somehow WRONG and I have to delete and start over!
And really – isn’t that ridiculous!?
A writer without words, like a photographer without a dream of an image, or a songwriter who can’t find anything to sing about?!
Surely that doesn’t happen –
But it does.
So frequently, it does –
NOT that we don’t have anything valuable to say, it’s just that it’s sometimes so hard to get your head in the place needed to be able to catch it all,
And what makes it all so doubly frustrating is that you know that when you are in full-flow, in full-fire, you literally blaze and there is nothing that can stop you and the words FLOOD and with it so does your energy, your emotions are heightened, you are at your peak doing your thing, that thing you’ve always loved and burned for, like love itself I suppose!
You become One with the world –
Inside that place of the artist, the creator, the dreamer, the maker, where you’re simply unstoppable and you are your vision and they couldn’t hold you back if you tried –
Knowing that that state is only just beyond where you are at right now
Yet you STILL somehow can’t get to it
If ONLY your brain would somehow wake up!
Is possibly the most frustrating thing of all!
So what do you DO then?
After all, not like I didn’t sit and journal this morning, not like I didn’t make my coffee extra strong this morning, not like I didn’t get up at 5am this morning (third day running)! to allow myself the space to be able to do so
SURELY THEN I am OWED that space, that creativity, that FLOW and ease and passion to return!?
I showed up for the muse and –
She is nowhere to be found.
Back when I lived in the gorgeous little regency town of Cheltenham in the UK, I had my own beautiful flat in one of the most desirable streets in one of the incredible buildings there (Yes, beautiful architecture makes my heart sing). And I remember I used to sit there
Trying to write my books, and scripts for my then-production company I had at the time
And I used to be in the same place –
Maybe you feel it too, lack of ideas, lack of focus, a bit of a drifting feeling that you know is so far from that energy of being well, turned on!, that you so desire
And I was so hungry for it, so WANTING it, that I used to sit and actually have imaginary conversations with my muse.
I literally had to beg her to arrive. I would sit down and describe her. I would visualise her. I would imagine her sat, in the room, and when I couldn’t get into the energy of the vision I would sit and just wait for her to arrive.
Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn’t. I even remember once being so frustrated with the whole thing I wondered whether I should try ouji boards and ask the devil itself to come fill my soul with words, some kind of bargain with the devil if you like! Thankfully I never quite went through with that one as a few months later I found God instead 🙂 which was a FAR more pleasurable experience, I imagine!
But still, that was how much I wanted it!
And I guess what I feared
Was that someday
It would all dry up
The energy would be gone
And I would die with
The gifts I KNEW I could touch people with
Locked up inside me, never accessed, never used.
A meaningless life, if you like.
A life with no impact, no legacy, no meaning. A life that would be essentially, a tragic waste.
Isn’t that what we all learn from the rock star death age of 27, and all of the artists who died undiscovered!?
That our gifts are too precious to waste, that every day should be lived to the fullest, that wouldn’t it be a crying, terrible shame
If you died with
The magic and the glory of you
Still locked up inside!? Only ever escaping in the most minimal way!?
And I guess when you look at it that way!
You’d better do whatever it takes to let it out then!
Because if we were not to come to know
How glorious you are –
And, as my 7 year old told my best girl the other day – her words already so powerful –
You are too glorious to not be admired.
I know! I don’t know where she gets it from 😉
But the truth – and aren’t kids so good at seeing the truth! –
Is that you really are.
And what I didn’t realise back then
Is that if I had only sat for long enough
If I had only pushed through – and yes THIS is the push! of the work –
If I had only BEGUN
If I had only honoured that space every single day
If I had created regardless of whether the muse chose to arrive or not!
More than likely
She would have appeared
Over and over again
And she would carry along
with her the gifts of
That is ONLY found in releasing
What you came here for.
The muse likes to play hard to get, apparently 😉
But really – so do you. You like to pretend everything else in the world matters more than
Pushing the pour out on to the page, your ideas, your images, your talks, your work! your absolute, lifelong body of the work that is the gift of you-
When the truth is
nothing matters more
You really are too glorious to not be admired and
After the push!
Comes exactly not what you seek but
What is seeking you.
Make The Space
Find the push
Commit to it!
And devote yourself to it
As if your life depended on it –
Oh, did you join me thinking you would just find ‘business advice?’
Well – there it is.