The amount of creative and brilliant women (and men) that I’ve coached over the years that have really struggled to not only make money but also ‘find their way’ in the world blows my mind.
Here are all these gifted, wildly creative people, real leaders, actually, coming to me simply because, sometimes, they don’t really know where to put themselves.
Oh yes! I’m talking about the real creatives here –
us somewhat (definitely) magical beings who seemingly burst with ideas,
who talk fast and passionately about the things that we love and the future we know is ours,
the future we know we can create, our conversations range wildly from life and death to art and soul and the mystical and everything inbetween, all whilst at the same time somehow keeping it hella real,
And you just KNOW if you’re one of ‘those’ people – if you’re one of us, really! –
Yet still, sometimes, despite your vast and glittering brilliance
It’s like you still don’t know exactly what to do with it all, and where to put it, where you belong, let alone how to make wealth, which so often comes as a secondary consideration. So I thought it was high time for a post on WHY, exactly, this is happening, and what to do about it!
1. You’re still trying to find the ‘straight’ road
How many courses, job roles, even business descriptions have you tried, how many niches have you tried to squeeze yourself into, only to move on to the next thing, or the next description of who you are and what you do, still the whole time feeling like you still don’t know what you really…. DO!?
And yet here you are again STILL trying to label yourself as This thing or That thing when the truth is for people like us, who literally can’t keep up with ourselves most of the time – the ONLY way forward and through this is simply
To drop the attachment to the label, to being the ONE thing, to having a title ‘coach’ or whatever you declare yourself to be this week!
Like my absolutely kick ass client Tanya, who finally, after years of working on this stuff, has simply rebranded as
Perfect. The key to working as a multipassionate creative is to stop trying to do ONE thing, to streamline yourself down, to pigeonhole yourself into a box, to listen to all the voices that tell you you do too much, you have too many ideas, you need to focus!
NO. Because what they mean is, what we learned at school is that we have to focus on one thing, BE one thing, get that job! And they’re either still stuck in that mindset OR
They themselves are bursting with ideas and also simply don’t know where to put them, so they stuck doing the one thing, sure maybe dabbling and dipping their toes in here and there, but all the time trying to keep down those trying to fly simply because they’re too scared to find their own wings.
My own journey has evolved from writer to fashion journalism to photographer to CEO to creative founder of an accessory brand
to photographer to writer to coach and even NOW I’m talking with my clients about feeling that PULL back to photographer and to making wild crowns again (NOT that floral sh*t that every 18 year old is wearing either, by the way, these are crowns for Queens of course)!!!
And I did it not one thing at a time but ALL AT ONCE ! when I was designing my accessories I was blogging, when I was a photographer I was writing my book, and so on!
I guess you could say the common thread holding it all together is writing, always my first and forever love! But it’s never been writing alone,
Because for us crazy ones, ONE THING, will simply never be enough! How could it be, when we are made of stardust and the very universe itself!?
In fact I think almost ALL people are multipassionate and gifted, but some of us are elevated enough to have that fire that burns in us where we KNOW it all has to come out, and didn’t you try for so long to be pigeonholed, with all the jobs and half finished courses and labels and businesses behind you?
The ONLY WAY TO MAKE IT WORK IS TO BRING IT ALL TOGETHER. This is what stops the silent screaming of your soul every day as you try to fill it with responsibilities and the things you ‘should’ be doing when really it’s literally dying to do the opposite.
2. You Forget You’re A LEADER
We love people, we love stories, we know we are the Kerouac crazy ones, attracting people like moths to a flame, it’s so EASY – but – that doesn’t mean you should work with them. MOST of the time, unless you’re lucky enough to find someone as visionary as you are with the same amount of fire too, which is super-rare by the way, why do you think most of us stay nestled at home so much even when it’s not lockdown!? – it’s not easy to find those that connect at that true deep soul level, not just the ‘pleasant’ level!
Babe- you’re a LEADER. You can have a team, you can have support, you can have coaches, but most of us don’t work well either UNDER someone or even next to them. We like to be on top, of course! 😉
And this is of course how you make the money- by leading, not by following. And trusting that you’re absolutely capable of doing it on your own, and you don’t need anybody leading you along on a leash (like you ever needed that anyway)!
3. Choosing Money Over Soul
Every single day, I work with people who somehow ‘forget’ their callings, forget their leadership, and I’m not just talking about areas of self doubt creeping in here and there. I’m talking full on forgetting what they’re here for to the point where they go get jobs, do more courses, get more qualified, because they think this is what is needed in order to be successful.
They work under people, with the wrong people, seeking the next boost or pat on the head, somebody telling you yeah you’re good, well done, you made it, you are recognised –
THINKING the whole time that THIS thing or THAT thing will bring them the money.
Listen – NOBODY gave me the title coach. I think if you look closely at ANY successful person and I mean actually happy, as well as wealthy, living life on purpose – you’ll find that nobody had to give them authority to do so. They most likely didn’t even train, do courses, get qualified at all, actually!
They simply knew the whole time what was inside of them and created it probably even as kids, like when I created an entire jewellery store when I was 14 while skipping school, when at Uni I was working in clubs until 5am as well as writing my first book, when I created my photography business and birthed my first daughter I was also writing a book that was published when she was just three weeks old in an industry where well, kindle and ebooks were practically unheard of at the time!
I didn’t ask permission
I didn’t seek instruction
I didn’t even question ‘how’
I just followed the call to doing that
And following that call over and over and over again has led to sure, a financially successful business where I get to work with gorgeous, hungry, divine souls all over the world in absolutely stunning locations, but WAY more than that –
It’s led to that place of absolute confidence that I can show up all day every day simply doing whatever I feel like and it’s THAT that creates the money!
*following a plan
*following a strategy
*being led by anybody else
Because the only way people like us ever make it in the way that we want, desire, DESERVE –
Is to be led by the callings of our soul. That’s it, final, the end.
4. Second Guessing Yourself / The Work
Almost every time I take a new client on a long term basis, invariably at some point, the conversation goes a little bit like this.
Client – ‘I’m a bit confused as to what I should be doing every day’
Me – What do you want to do?
Client ‘well, I probably need to tidy my house first. Then I need to do that thing. Then I’ve got the doctor / dentist / bank appointment then I’ve got some emails I need to send and I’m doing some training on this course and then
Me – EXPLODES INTO THE PHONE
Haha well I don’t, but kind of do at the same time. At what point do we realise that to BE the wealthy, successful creative that we are born to be, that is our absolute birthright to be and indeed you already are, if you look underneath the cloak of bullshit you insist on wearing every morning –
You, uh, need to create.
Every day. That’s the work. Create. Create. Create.
And if I can add one thing on to the end –
And if you hate sharing, pay someone else to share it for you. You can hire social media managers on Upwork and it doesn’t have to be ‘expensive’ to get started. Many of us would rather die than spread our work all over social media, OR we end up spending all our time on socials and that becomes the priority over the creativity.
It’s simple to create, really. But we put a ton of barriers in our way as to why we can’t do it, usually a whole list of other responsibillities or things we ‘should’ be doing which is really just another way of burying our creative callings because we feel too scared to actually do them and see what happens. Far easier to follow the money trail instead than sit with that wilful, impulsive, reckless muse, right?
Except your muse is draped in gold and comes from the deepest, most fantastical parts of you and she already knows the way.
5. Know You Are Already Wealthy
You are born wealthy. And this comes from someone who was born and raised on a council estate. To be able to say that has taken YEARS, actually decades now, of work around understanding money.
But creatives in particular have a hard time believing that. In fact most of the time money isn’t even a concern or focus – which is of course partly why you don’t ever seem to have beyond ‘enough’.
If you want to make money from your art it doesn’t need to be your focus, or your everything, or your world, or like you need to become some hungry money grabbing whore (though you totes can, if that’s your thing)!
But you do need to believe that you can make money – LOTS of it – from your art, your message, your purpose. You need to know that you don’t have to be a starving artist, that you won’t need to sacrifice your art or your message for money, that your art won’t be somehow cheaper or like you’ll become an evil bitch just because you demand more.
In fact, becoming a wealthy creative is kind of essential for your art. I know when I first started my accessory brand how hard it was for me to find the money for the really expensive crystals my pieces needed to command higher prices.
Of course art always finds a way, I could have used nails from a scrapheap and still made something beautiful from it! But I WANTED gorgeous sparkly luxe crystals, the best laces, vintage and imported from france, and I WANTED to charge more money and I WANTED to be in the BEST boutiques – and I wanted to be able to afford the stands at the best shows so my work got out to a bigger audience, and I wanted to be able to do take time out to do shoots and support other artists, and I wanted to BUY things from my artist friends and creatives –
and I realised pretty quickly I’m going to need money to do that. Thankfully I was in an industry where creatives get paid pretty well for their work, and I simply took on that mentality of
-’well, if they can do it, why not me?’
Of course there is so much more work to do at a cellular level to rewrite your identity entirely, but it’s a great place to start if you’re fed up with the money struggle! Simply asking – well, if it’s possible for others – why not me?
6. You’re Not Yet Crisis Proof
At some point in your journey you’re going to have a huge crisis where nothing seems to be working, nothing seems to be going right, and even seems to be going backwards. At the same time, relationships / health / sometimes life itself seem to be imploding.
I’ve experienced this multiple times in business and I look at this now and say wow –
That was always, every single time without fail, an invitation into the next level.
It’s like YOU KNOW you’re ready to uplevel, you know you’re ready to upgrade, you’re right on the brink of greatness and even glory
And then it all tumbles down like card houses.
What the hell happens?
You quickly fall into victim mindset. I fell into this over and over and over again. First I had a traumatic birth and closed down my accessory brand as a result because I thought it was too much. Then I hit the highest income I’d ever had and promptly almost divorced at the same time and fell behind on all my payments.
There are countless other times I could list but probably the most powerful was when I was moving to the chateau in France and it was 4am, I was on my own at the airport with two kids and our two rescue cats and we got denied permission to board. ALL of my money was untouchable at this point, long story but it was going to take days to receive any money into my account, and I don’t have credit cards, so I was literally stuck at the airport with two desperately tired and hungry kids, two cats, a ton of luggage, at 4am. With no way to pay for hotels.
So I went into panic mode, called the British Embassy and they called my brother to transfer me some money – while he was at the hospital with his wife giving birth!!!! I was MORTIFIED as they did it without my knowledge, and just felt like such a financial failure for not having access to cash!
HOWEVER this was one of the most powerful lessons I learned around money – how quickly we give away our power!
What I should have done, was sat down in a cafe, fed the kids, and emailed my clients a new offer or run a flash sale, booked a hotel and some new flights – simple! I know how to make money in MINUTES if I have to, I’ve built my whole business on being able to do so!
But I quickly reverted into old patterns of dependency and victim mindset.
When sh*t hits the fan what I learned was –
This is happening FOR me, not TO me. It’s the most powerful perspective to hold on to when things start to crumble.
And instead of trying to hold on, allow yourself to shift and flow! This brings you back into alignment, into creativity and of course then ultimately – into money!
7. Forgetting The Priestess
I’m the biggest flake out on my art. But at least I know when I’m doing it. The reality is your art wants you to sit, bum glued to your chair, until whatever needs to come out of you pours out.
Even if the muse doesn’t appear, you have no ideas, your brain is as flat as a pancake and NOTHING IS COMING OUT ARRGHHH WHAT AM I MEANT TO CREATE OR SAY OR WRITE TODAY
YOU STILL HAVE TO SIT THERE AND CREATE ANYWAY.
Even if it feels like the wrong thing. Or awkward. Or clunky.
And not because your youtube schedule or your social media manager said so.
But because this is your duty to your creative priestess that not only lives and breathes in you but IS you, is such a part of you that to not honour her means a little part of you dies every day,
And in fact all of those traits you use as excuses as to why you can’t honour her today
The well I just to do this thing first and THEN I will feel connected and ready
Are ways you simply refuse to sit with yourself, to BE with yourself, do or die, until it COMES out everywhere yes just like that.
And sometimes it will be messy and clunky and terrible and brutal at how much you have to push it
And just sometimes.. It will be glorious. Pure, sheer, flow and easy and joy and bliss and you’re in that place where it’s all soaring and you’re rising with it and how could there have ever been anything else? You’re here now, this is where you’re meant to be and all those days the muse didn’t arise doesn’t matter, all forgotten now in the whirl of sheer joy, bliss, ecstasy, pleasure –
But you don’t get there without sitting in those darker places first. Sit in your boredom, in your procrastination, IN Your avoidance, SIT AND SHOW UP NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOUR EARTHLY BODY WANTS TO RUN
Because your soul wants you to sit. And then she will descend upon you like gold, and gold shall follow.
8. Want the money? Ask for the money.
Want more money? Ask for more money.
I don’t know why we make it so hard. I’m pretty thankful for my years of waitressing at TGI Fridays while at the same time being surrounded by a circle of wealthy older men who very clearly had no problem asking for what they wanted, all I learned at a very impressionable age thanks to those two things was simply –
Want it? Want that extra commission? Want that tip? Want that success?
Want more? Offer more. I’m not sure how many sides of fries, jackets, wedges, desserts and coffees I’ve offered in my life, probably tens of thousands, and now my business is just the same.
Want coaching? Great. Want a 1-1 day on the side? Great. Want to come here and stay with us for a retreat? I’ll serve that right up and it will be the best thing you’ve ever had.
ASK. Ask more. Ask seven ways and then ask some more. And expect they’ll buy too. People come to a restaurant to eat so it’s your job to sell them food! Equally, my clients come to me because their soul is hungry so my job is to sell them food – the point is, whatever you sell, you’re satisfying people and giving them what they need!
9. People Pleasing
Most of us are born people-pleasers. This is in direct opposition to making money.
Becoming wealthy means you’re going to let people down.
You’re going to most likely let down your parents who don’t understand why you don’t get a proper job.
You’re going to let down your partner who will see the dry spells, panic, and ask you to get a bit more real.
You’re going to let down your community who want you to stay as one thing and don’t dare raise your prices and did you see what she has done lately!? Who does she think she is?
You’ll let down your clients when you shift and change your identity, you’ll upset suppliers, and you’ll upset bloggers and pretty much everyone in existence including your best friends.
But here’s what you need to remember, aside from the fact that the if you insist on following their expectations for you you’re letting down yourself most of all –
The amount of people whose lives you impact and change will dwarf the amount of those you let down.
Honestly. I had an entire GROUP of online haters, literally around 60 people, and the amount of people and lives I have impacted in a positive way since that group was formed it’s like it’s a speck of dust in the universe.
So if you know you’re still playing small because of what they might say / think / still hide away from letting your work out there
PUT ON YOUR SPOTTY BRA.
When I was at photography school, I stuck a bra in my sketchbook, like a page, so my tutor literally had to touch my bra to turn the page.
LOL. I thought I was very clever making some feminist comment LOL and her face when she saw it! Her comment implied I should probably be at art school rather than Very Serious Photographic Arts School, and that’s when I realised –
My art is always going to be for me first, I’m always going to be creating for myself first. And has never changed since – why do you think I write such long posts!? Despite EVERYONE and his dog telling me
NObody reads long posts anymore
NOBODY reads long emails
KEEP THEM SHORT
You’re blabbering and have a vague wishy washy message!
But still here I am creating and continuing to build a million dollar business simply because I don’t create for anybody but myself, FIRST.
And I know full well my message, my art, whatever form that takes – of course isn’t going to be for everyone.
And that it will upset some people.
And that some people won’t get it.
And won’t buy or purchase or watch or listen.
Funnily enough…. My haters are still listening to my podcasts and reading my posts LOL because they tell me so !!! YEARS down the line they’re still tuning!!! LOL….
You can live and die for everyone else
Or live and die by your own rules and have an absolute BALL doing so –
And which one do you think makes the money!? !
10. Outrageous Feels Uncomfortable
If you just do that podcast / video / paint / teach / lead your team for long enough… eventually everyone will discover how wonderful you are and you’ll make it.
Yes, you can grow slowly. But you also might not.
And the thing I’ve learned is that over and over and over again – the success comes when I stop doing things that feel boring, like hard work, and that my soul simply resists, full stop.
I used to push and push myself to finish things!
Finish that book, stay in the relationship, stick to that job (ok maybe not that one lol) do the course, stick to the subject
Killing me slowly.
Now I change my mind in a heartbeat. I walk away from projects, businesses, ideas, anything that is not aligned. I quit courses and programs half way through, don’t turn up to lunch if I don’t feel like it, and every month I stay in bed and do NOTHING when it’s my period because well, that’s what I feel like doing.
I know, how outrageous, how flaky, how inconsistent, how non-committed, where are her VALUES!!!
Oh, don’t get me wrong. Once I’m committed, especially to a person, I’m a lifer! I fall in love with ALL of my soul for projects, people, and work that I love and my clients are the same!
BUT the reason I can do this and how I find the projects, ideas, businesses, people that I’m with for life – the things that bring me complete pleasure, bliss and joy –
Is because I gave myself permission a long time ago to quit things that don’t work for me.
I was working for a VERY well known British photographer, on a shoot, and it was 10.30 at night and I’d been in the studio since 6.30am. I was exhausted, just tidying up and getting ready to leave when he came storming in, took one look at me and said ‘get me a glass of fucking wine, now’.
I walked out of the door and never looked back – lesson learned, never sacrifice who you really are and what you’re called to even if it means you’re potentially blowing up your entire life in the process.
NOBODY was happy with me. My university professors pretty much washed their hands of me because of who he was. My parents asked why I didn’t just stick it out and rise above it. Even my friends were pretty shocked lol.
and all I felt was relief, like I honoured myself and my soul, and like I was free. And nobody’s opinion could persuade me otherwise.
Sure, you’re going to close some doors working this way.
But SO many more will open when you step into what you deserve.
And you do not deserve to exist in constant state of struggle.
Think about it – how much energy, time, effort, frustration, in situations, relationships, partnerships, businesses, projects, creations –
That actually DRAIN us!? Do you think your soul exists to be drained every day!?
To slowly allow your energy to seep away, every day, in work that doesn’t lift you up, depletes you, while your mind fills with visions of what you’d rather be doing instead!?
This can be SO easy, so fun, so joyful
If you can have the courage to say no, walk away, blow the whole thing up behind you if necessary.
And this is where you get to walk into the light.
Your life as a creative, as a multi passionate, as one of the crazy ones, as a mf leader of your own life –
Is to do, and be the outrageous –
Because that’s how you get outrageous results,
And a life less ordinary.