This Is What You Say When They Call You A Fraud!
Because it came to my attention just recently that someone had mentioned that because I am not ‘qualified’ to coach, I should therefore not be a coach.
LOL. Before I get started on the ridiculousness of that (should I not cook someone a meal because I am not a qualified chef? not become a parent – arguably the most important job in the whole world – because I don’t have a piece of paper that’s a certificate? Not buy a house to restore, because I am not a builder? TEACH my own kids, because I am not a ‘teacher’? Should Richard Branson not have launched Virgin, because he wasn’t a pilot? Should I have not launched my own accessory brand because I didn’t go to design school… you get the picture!)
Let me ask you this –
We’re going out for dinner, you and I. We’re going to a Thai restaurant, because I LOVE thai food. OMG living in Thailand was kind of heaven for that! So yes, it’s Thai. Now, we have the choice of two restaurants.
One, is ran by a guy who cooked in Thai restaurants IN Thailand for ten years. You know, the kind of rustic, street-foody type of food.
The other is run by a guy who just got his chef’s certificate from a local college.
Which do you choose? LOOOOOOOOL no brainer!!
Give me the authenticity and experience any day of the week.
So quite aside from the fact I now have a DECADE in business, working and earning for myself, which did NOT start by coaching, I might add, but as an accessory brand that was stocked in boutiques across the world, followed by my photography business which was featured EVERYWHERE followed by my four Amazon bestselling ebooks followed by my platform that I built and sold to a silicon valley tech co followed by my copywriting work which I’ve undertaken all over the world followed by THIS business right here AND my new startup! –
If I didn’t have those things
I would STILL be here. Writing, coaching, in some way or another. You’re a product of what you consume and for years as a kid all I read were self-development books, personal growth books – I remember when I was 12 getting a book on guardian angels and near death experiences from the local library, I was just so entranced by the possibilities and magic of life even then! – that of course, it was only natural I became a coach!
You can’t avoid who you are, you know! Qualifications or otherwise.
And a piece of paper, ‘qualifications’ – sure, you can get those, if you want! I’ve spend thousands on my own personal self development and courses and coaches and books and whatever else over the years and I don’t consider a single cent of that as money wasted, it ALL teaches you something, even the courses I just couldn’t get on with or the ones still sat on my hard drive!
But I never, ever did it because I needed the validation of a piece of paper at the end of it which ‘proves’ to myself or to anybody else, that I am able to learn or pass the test. In fact the idea seems a little laughable, not because I don’t value education, I do, hugely, it’s how I’m able to be here! But what I don’t value is status through education. Or getting educated, in place of finding your purpose in life.
I mean, the amount of people who go to university, get educated, and then still have no clue what their purpose work, focus or big vision is!
In fact there was once when I tried that route! I tried to become a ‘qualified yoga teacher’. Signed up, paid, started my teacher training and promptly fell out of love with yoga entirely. Where I’d practiced almost daily for years, suddenly I couldn’t think of anything worse than standing on my mat. Which was kind of heartbreaking actually. And then when I realised what was going on, that my EGO wanted to be certified as being more SPIRITUAL / ACCOMPLISHED / ACHIEVED!
I quit the program and started practicing again the very next day.
And the same with my photographic arts degree, I studied for three entire years to gain that thing and it just so happened that my second year presentation coincided with the day of my nan’s funeral. I went on to complete the third year, my dissertation, my final year exhibition, all of it – but never went back and redid the presentation and as a result didn’t get my degree!
I could have chosen to do that at any point, I’d done every single part of my degree BUT that five percent! BUT for me, I never went to University to become ‘qualified’ but simply to spend time falling deeper in love with what I loved, which then (still is) photographic arts! It was never about the qualification, that simply didn’t matter to me or where I wanted to go!
So sure, I’m a total flake when it comes to gaining certificates. But I’m entirely committed when it comes to following what you actually want, not what society- or you – tells you is the right thing to want 🙂
And really, that’s what this is all about isn’t it?
You see, when someone calls you a fake or a fraud or you hear they’re saying you’re not ‘qualified’… and it wounds you… you need to ask… is it hurting really because it’s making you doubt in yourself and your abilities? is it wounding because you feel they don’t see the real you, in all your glory and ability? because you fear they might not love you somehow? is it your own place of ‘lack’, actually, being reflected back to you? (JOURNAL)!
Because if you were entirely confident IN your mission, in your purpose, in your vision, in who you are, actually –
it would all be water off a duck’s back, comments as empty as the breeze!
This post actually started out as I came across an article in a newspaper last night about my coach and about how she earns millions per year, and the COMMENTS that followed! you know the usual hatery stuff about fraud and fake and snake oil lol! and I kind of sat there laughing because this woman has published FIFTY books, has a body like a goddess at age 40, writes every day like her life depends on it (because it does) and has the kind of rawness and vulnerability online that takes real guts to gain, and all of that takes work and focus that’s practically superhuman, and even in my head I started to defend all of the reasons why she is amazing and why all the comments were so insane, and then I had to stop
and remember, really,
If SHE was reading those comments
They would be entirely insignificant and would barely register on her radar, not because it’s nonsense- but because she has done the (inner)! work required for it to become so.
And so really then, if you’re triggered by fraud comments, or your own feeling of imposter syndrome – it’s not because you ARE, but because you simply haven’t done the work needed to know, with every single part of you
This is what you came for.
And not a single comment, not even hundreds, or thousands of them
And certainly not your own self doubt
Could ever stand in your way!
When you know THAT
When you can believe it so deeply it’s simply coded into your cells so deeply as a part of who you are
No piece of paper can or ever could validate or invalidate you! (Not that it ever does anyway).
And so if you’re feeling TRIGGERED, feeling the fraud factor, feelings of inadequacy, it’s simple really
The question is rarely ‘do I need to go and get more qualified’
‘Is this what I love to do, could do forever and ever until the end or until I’m called otherwise, can I believe in mySELF more and deeper still?’
What they are reflecting back to you is simply the shadows that remain on your soul, waiting for you to clear them 🙂 and the way to do that
Deeper and deeper into purpose
Deeper and with even more focus and vision and artistry
Stronger and more blissful than before simply because you simply know, and believe, that you will follow this way, your direction, forever and ever until the end, because one thing you are entirely certain of, is
That you were put here to change lives. To uplift, enhance, beautify, inspire, create, or whatever it is you do in some way, do work that matters.
And that’s what you focus on.
As for those that try to steal your joy, knock you down, it’s simple, really.
Not today. And carry on disciplining yourself back to the work of your SOUL, with those that dance alongside you. No piece of paper required.