I journaled this morning about what I would do if the internet vanished tomorrow. You know! If social media died (probably will one day after all) or I had had no online way of getting my message to you – well, what would my business look like then, what would I be making?

(and if you’re wondering why I was journaling on this well, because this is how you get out of your comfort zones but also how you stay one step ahead and tuned it to what really matters BEYOND what we currently see in front of us, and thinking bigger picture style)

And what came out, somewhat obviously,
Was
I want to make things that matter. Beautiful, uplifting things you can hold in your hands.

Ooh. What would that look like then?
Well
For me
That would be books. Books. More books.
And some sort of journal prompt card deck! that would be magical.
+ they would have massive impact

And then of course came the questions that roll while you’re deep in flow.

WHY then, if it’s all about books anyway, do I keep flipping backwards and forwards with my books? Why do I keep deciding and redeciding on subject, content, even layout even!?

Well
Isn’t that the thing.
Actually
Change
Shifting
Following calls this way and that way

They’ll say they don’t know who or what you are
That you’re overwhelming and confusing to follow
BUT
The ones like you who KNOW!! (and they always know, really)
They know
Your core never changes! ALWAYS true to the root of who we are and what we believe

And the wrapper you change in the flap of a butterfly wing
Isn’t that the fun of it?!
Changing
Shifting??

Of course we could stay stagnant
Drape ourselves the SAME everyday
Growing slowly duller and dustier over time

OR

You could know (and probably already do, but with certainty)!
Some of us are meant to change
To shift
And to float.

To dive and discard each fragment so fast they don’t see us
Certainly won’t understand us!
But while they’re stood still
Figuring it all out
You’ve gone anyway!

NEXT and they’ll marvel at the fickle flaky you
Nevermind the BEES who flit from flower to flower!
Making HONEY for the world
And so
(like you ever need a reason to be multi-you)
We’re collecting
Drinking deep from every experience, story, breath
+ dance
+ we weave it into honey we came to share
Which makes us
THE ARTISTS.

Some people are meant just for one thing
Enjoy labels
The comfort of definition, the internet marketing-y thing of EXPERT AT XYZ
(Doesn’t ego crave that recognition)!?

And some of us
Simply
Are constellations they try to piece together
And while they do THAT?
They’re too busy to notice what’s lighting the whole sky!

Maybe you’re not meant to
Decide to BE one thing
Label
Specialism
Maybe… just maybe… that’s a thing they invented
When the fullness of you got too much
And of course then it’s that thing you run to and hide in! when you want to pretend to blend in with the rest of the world

Look how academic / wordy / qualified / creative / sensitive / CREATIVE / spiritual I AM!!!

Displaying another mere skin to the world
Whenever you feel like
And yet you cling to it too
While your soul slowly peels it off.

+ you’re aching with the agony of that
But what if you allowed
The release of change, of shift?
Not like we question the sun rising on a new day is it?!

Maybe you’re not meant to write THE book
Be THE expert
The person who does X

Can they not get or understand
That actually
You’re pretty damn spectacular
At MOST of it!?

Simply because
You allowed it to be so. 

And the people who join you will know

You’re both balm and mirror
A pool of reflection
Honey-river for them to float in

And everyone else?
Irrelevant, darling.
Not to the world
But to you.

Now go decorate the world (not just your walls)
Any colour
You damn well choose.

Because really it’s just a choice
A mortal, and so irrelevant, choice
And if you don’t like it?
Make another one.

The important thing
Is just to keep on choosing
Yourself
In a world where
People aren’t sure what they get when they choose you
Until
They do.