Why You Don’t Have It Yet!

Do you remember when you were little, somehow you always had a way of getting what you wanted? I mean, without even trying. 

Think about it – you wanted to walk, didn’t you? And so you did.

You wanted to talk, yes? And so you did. So something as hard as learning to talk, learning to walk, arguably two of the most complicated things anybody can do, you learned as a BABY to do! Quite literally, you made it so simple to do and have those and become those things, that a baby could do it.

So surely then, if you can take a baby with a still developing mind and body and teach it to walk and talk – surely it shouldn’t be difficult to do anything, really, that you decide?! in comparison, at least.

So why is having what we really want SO difficult then, why does it feel so far away, so far out of reach, so just TOUGH, to have it?!

Well that’s the first thing then! As a baby you didn’t consciously DECIDE to walk and talk, did you?

We make such a big hoo-ha about ‘making the choice’, but what if it’s even simpler than that?

Because of course you’ll tell me you already decided, but still, deciding alone doesn’t work any more than wishing and hoping and walking around repeating affirmations does! Or, ‘just thinking positive’

So what if it’s even simpler than making the choice, what about if you knew, just like a baby doesn’t THINK about whether walking or not is the goal, it just does it, what if what it takes is not deciding it IS this way, but knowing that it is?

A baby innately knows it will walk, which is why it keeps on trying even though it wobbles and falls over, it just keeps on going and literally those little things will commando crawl on their stomach until they make it if they have to!

They innately know, that they will have exactly what they want.

So why is it you do not KNOW, that you can have and receive all that you want, yet a tiny, not even conscious baby believes it can?

yet you with all of your privilege and learning and education and time still doesn’t really, fully, believe, trust, that you can?! 

And that’s it, isn’t it? The reason we dive from one thing to the next, trying new things, building safety nets, getting ‘more qualified’, even under the disguise of ‘but I’m having so much fun! Look how much the world needs this latest new thing’! Oh yes, I see you and while we are on the subject of it, even JOURNALING itself can be a way of simply avoiding KNOWING.

Knowing, is actually the thing we work so hard to actively AVOID.


Well, then we would have to act in accordance with that, and if that thing feels so far away then it’s likely we are acting as if we expect nothing like that,

and so therefore we would have to act entirely differently, which means WORK, doesn’t it?

We would have to commit, wouldn’t we. We would have to totally change who we are. We would have to sit with ourselves, in all of everything we have ever experienced, every WRONG we have ever become, in order to make it different, and keep trying. From commando crawling to walking.

And you’d have to change how you do things. You’d have to believe you were fully capable of so much more, than what you’re currently giving.

And to do that would mean, actually, not finding ways to avoiding problems, but actually noticing problems in order to find joy in the challenge of them! Like a baby taking steps even though I have no doubt in it’s head it is finding it kinda mildly terrifying.

I remember my nephew learning to walk when we lived with them in New Zealand last year, the determination on his face! Wobbling around and all over his toys, or steps, or Nora the dog, or whatever other obstacle he comes across – nope, no doubt in Leo’s mind he was getting over / around / under them! He just found new ways to do things.

And I was on a call with one of my clients in the US last night, and she said to me, I feel like we’ve gone over this before, you must get sick of going over the same stuff and I said NOPE, we are just finding new ways to solve the problem! 

And eventually you will, if you keep at it long enough, find your way around, or under, or through.

But first, you’re going to have to not only know what you want, and believe it is possible, but fully know, with every single particle of you, that it is. Because otherwise, you’re just going to keep crawling along, forever, perhaps!

Oh, there’s no denying you’re as tenacious as they come, clinging on like a barnacle as the ship sails along but it’s almost like you’re waiting for it to sink! But sticking to something has nothing to do with it, in fact the reason you keep on getting the same results, year after year, is no doubt your complete resistance to NOT sticking!

You’re going to have to go so much bigger than ‘deciding your goals’ next year, even NOW, today – and decide instead to know

How to do that then? Well, the chances are, you’ve always known. But you’ve never allowed yourself to sit in your desire long enough for you to fully believe that it’s yours.

Before I moved into one of the incredible homes we have been lucky enough to live in, I journaled on that house for an entire YEAR. 365 days. I would meditate on that house. I found a picture in a magazine before I even knew it existed. I literally held that vision every single day until it became reality. I KNEW it would because I worked like I knew it would!

Not worked myself to the bone but worked as if I knew it was truth, and so it was!

Which meant the work I had to do was making it my truth – that was the work!!! and it was HARD work, do you think a girl raised on a council estate automatically KNOWS she will live in a million dollar villa on the island’s most luxurious resort and then she would be able to travel with her family and stay luxury 5*??

The work, the real work, is coming to KNOW. 

You think a baby comes out knowing how to walk? It sees every single day, people around him walking! So the natural thing it comes to assume is that walking is entirely normal, and meant for him too!

He becomes just like what he is surrounded by, and if you don’t even pause for long enough to decide every single day what that is, how on earth do you expect to get it!?

The way you get to having what you want by knowing what you want, very clearly, is to have that vision in your head of it, every single day, until it becomes so normal for you to have that thing that to NOT have it feels unthinkable! 

Are you doing that? Clearing the space for THAT, daily? Spending time in your journal, daily focussing on that and nothing but that? Is your office space or wallet or desktop filled with that thing? I even wrote down notes about the house on a card and carried it around in my wallet for months!

The same way, when I used to revise for my exams, I use to stick the info down on little cards that I carried around with me, literally imprinting it into my head while visualising, YES even all the way back then, myself with A grades – no wonder then, I got the results exactly as I KNEW I would.

You always know, but your fear of falling clouds what you know until you convince yourself you don’t know anymore, and then you allow every single distraction and shiny object, even your feelings and emotions let alone ‘the way you SHOULD do things’ to come in and stop you knowing.

You allow them in, because to do so is easier than doing the work of knowing.

Carve out the space EVERY SINGLE DAY to give yourself the mental image of you being in possession of and having that thing, or life, or vision, or house, or income goal, or whatever it is,

And bonus points! where you’ll most likely speed along much more quickly, if you can surround yourself with other people who already have or do that thing. After all, baby isn’t surrounding himself very often with a family that crawls, is he.

That’s how you come to that place of knowing, really, that everything you truly desire, is yours, and how you can go into every single day with the certainty of knowing it is all on its way. (Goodbye anxiety, procrastination, and indecision).

It’s not any more complicated than that, but most people struggle to even decide what they want in the first place, let alone have the courage to focus on it daily, and then act accordingly.

Thankfully, you’re here reading this, and therefore not like most people.

So maybe it’s time to stop acting like you are, and start acting as if you know exactly what it is you’re here for, day in, day out, until

You become it.


Charlie xo

This is not a dress rehearsal… 


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