The thing about having a purpose, or gift if you like

One of those things you KNOW that you’re naturally good at, in fact so good most people look at you and wonder how you do it

The thing about THAT…

About being who you are, really

Is that

You can’t escape it. 

Sure, you can try, run towards the hills, showing up for your distractions day after day but the reality is this

At some point you’re going to have to truly commit to your greatness.

Daily.

And choose it every day

Even when it feels like

It’s not choosing YOU.

Those days? The days of disappointment, when you wake up feeling like crap, when you wake up wondering what’s the point in it all even, and wondering if you even can carry on! 

And then wondering if you’re just far too emotional for this game anyway – and even your usual practice, your prayer your yoga your beautifully prepared breakfast all feels EMPTY-

Like me today

I had a pretty crappy evening and morning, and really felt a bit emotional about it all (Pisces season in full swing here people)! 

And sat down in my usual little cosy tech hub to work

And dear God I did EVERYTHING but write this email to you.

Messed about on Facebook for a while

Messaged some clients

Scrolled through Thought Catalog to make myself obviously feel all the feels even more than I was already feeling them

Ordered junk food and a massive coffee because isn’t FOOD one of the main ways some of us use as an escape from our purpose? Far easier to dive into a pastry plate than it is showing up and baring our soul and our art!

And even wrote in my journal I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT TODAY and basically drew some stars in the margin like I’m still at school being all rebellious and doodling on my notebooks 😀

And I wish I could tell you all the time how amazing business is

How easy this all is to travel the world, live free, show up and get paid for it?!

But the truth is those stars that you look to now?! The people who show up and as if by magic sell anything

Those people who have massive industry recognition

Lifestyle freedom

Conscious life choices, creative freedom, massive followings whatever you aspire to –

How we really all did it –

Beyond ‘getting certified’, ‘beyond showing up online’

(HA it always make me laugh that that’s our priority now, and then people wonder why their business isn’t working and I’ll tell you why, social media IS valuable YES but…

It’s disposable. Your message a hundred others like it VANISHING like the wind, and if you want to not vanish along with it well, better keep creating then

might be an idea to create and share the NON disposable while you’re at it, create online assets that will long outlive yesterday’s post, whether that’s a book or SEO’d (OMG yes I just said that) posts or Pinterest pins that take on a life of their own or whatever it is)

Because also – That is how they did it!! They simply showed up and continued showing up despite the thousand cuts of the knife that threatens to slice you into pieces on the way –

And so here I am writing regardless of what my emotions have to say about it

Because that’s what commitment to the outcome means

Commitment to purpose means

And today I’m quadruply frustrated because TODAY was going to be the day I launched my new program, TODAY was going to be the day I shared this frankly epic post I wrote for you yesterday containing all sorts of money breakthroughs

And what happens

Nope.

Have to write this instead

Have to allow whatever comes out to come out

Because once you commit

Commit to your purpose, finally, once and for all

It means also

You have to let go

Let go of all the things – emotions, experiences, conversations, PEOPLE even who are holding you back from your true impact

Pisces season is ALSO about not suffering fools gladly and Lord knows not like I have the most patience for that anyway not because I’m not patient but because

For every drop of energy you throw away on shitty, depleting conversations

On avoidance

On thinking, talking, crying over things that you’ll not even remember in days to come

Well

That energy could have been shifted INTO your purpose work.

And also you have to let go of

What you thought this was meant to look like.

Your job isn’t to shoehorn yourself into the world of others

Crumpled and rumpled around the edges shrinking away baked like plastic in the oven

your job is simply to show up for your work 

And tell it – here I am – and let whatever comes through come through regardless.

So for you that means

Pick up the camera

Or the pen

Or the paint

Or journal

Or the phone even! Depending on whatever your particular medium of choice is

And you do it every single day

And you do it regardless of emotion, or location, or illness, or whatever worries you have in your life

And you pour every single drop of ALL of those things that held you back

INTO

Your work

Or you don’t, maybe your message is something different entirely, the message isn’t important, but showing up for it is

And so then

I used to hate it when my mentor said you’re either all in or you’re OUT, I thought it was so aggressive

But of course

Like all good mentors 🙂

She was right 100%.

so for you then

Are you going to commit, to showing up every day, for your art, for the thing you say you want, to run through you? 

Or are you going to forever let busyness and sick kids and your emotions dictate your capacity for your energy, focus, and life?! 

That’s the thing about emotions,

It’s NEVER that you should not want to feel them

Or plough through them like you’re some AI robot

The thing is with your feelings is that

You get to let them fall like rain INTO what you’re doing

Or you let them carry on washing you down the river. 

And wouldn’t that be a sin then?

To let these incredible gifts you’ve been given

This incredible thing you do that barely ANYONE else can do 

THE EMOTIONS YOU CAN USE AS YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION AND DRIVER AND ENCOURAGER if you could just SEE

That THEY are as big as a gift as your actual art, that thing that you do!

If you could just see that!?

Well than, wouldn’t everything change for you?!

If you could stop letting your emotions dictate whether or not ‘good enough’ has anything to do with it

If you could just stop letting your emotions dictate whether today you show up or not

Whether you SELL or not, because you don’t feel ‘up to it’ today

If you could just ALLOW your emotions IN, instead of resisting them and feeling even WORSE because of it

But instead looking right at them in the eye

Hello old friend

Let’s do this together, yes?

I can’t even begin to tell you how much everything would change for you.

And as for how you do that

Back to the point

Your job is to simply show up

With your tool in your hand

Regardless of how you feel about it

And THEN let it all flow through you

Exactly as it’s supposed to before you decided, back when you were a child when society or the world or whoever told you STOP CRYING

Chin up!

Locked you down

Turned you into a ZOMBIE continually running from the things you’re chasing instead of standing there

Turning into the wind

And becoming it. 

Choice is yours, how are you showing up for your purpose today?

Or are you still running from it.